Hip Hip Hooray!

A lifetime of ballet training, contemporary dance performance, ashtanga yoga, ecstatic dance, and cycling has brought me to this state of being doubly bionic. I got a right hip replacement six years ago and a left hip replacement this past week. Without the miracle of modern medicine, I would have been an easy meal for the tigers a long time ago. Instead, I am now known as Titanium Man, with the opportunity for a long and mobile future ahead of me.

The blessing of going through this procedure a second time is that I get to do it differently this time, applying wisdom that comes from age and experience. But before I speak about the process, I want to acknowledge two people without whom I’d not be where I am today. First of all, I send all my love to my wife Arella Axelrod who has been my Partner through every moment of both journeys, and whose ayurvedic-inspired focus on health and wellness inspires me to be the best person and best patient that I can be. Secondly, I send my deepest gratitude to my surgeon Dr Robert Detch who did both of my hip replacements with calmness and confidence – enabling me to regain mobility at 65 years of age and hopefully for many more years to come.

Six years ago I set out to prove that being an aerobically fit cyclist, a hyper-flexible and strong yogi, and an overachiever in many other areas of my life, would get me beyond the recovery finish line in record time. This time around, my strategy was slow-and-steady, follow instructions, it’s not a race. Guess which recovery went more smoothly?

At 65 years of age, I finally acknowledge that gravity applies to me too. I have learned that being athletically fit doesn’t guarantee that I’ll speed through my recovery from surgical wounds. I honor and respect my immune and metabolic and respiratory and cardiovascular and digestive system, each of which may care to varying degrees about my physical prowess but are really asking “what have you done for ME lately?” .

My dancer diet of cookies and ice cream no longer sustains me. My 2017 recovery diet of potato chips, corn chips, cookies, and Costco Cashew Clusters just doesn’t cut it any more. In 2023, the new normal is healthy living that supports healthy blood pressure and cholesterol and glucose levels and kidney functions and mobility and healing.

** There is a bit of ‘selective memory’ in these pictures. I did eat great healthy meals in 2017 too. However, I hadn’t yet lost my desire for snacks, snacks, and more snacks!

What healthy surgery-prep looks like to me today

Here’s a list of lessons learned, encouragements and inspirations that worked for me – I hope you find some of this helpful as well:

Find a Great hospital

I didn’t do any comparison shopping. But I had both hips replaced at Mills Peninsula Medical Center in Burlingame, Ca, and I give them 5++-star reports on every aspect of my experience with them.

  • Love and honor your healthcare team – they are doing God’s work.
  • Don’t judge each doctor and nurse for not being great at everything. Appreciate that they are great in their area of specialization.
    • The surgeon who did unimaginable things to my bones.
    • The RN who unabashedly put a catheter into me to empty my bladder.
    • The night RN who didn’t let me say ‘no’ to the pain meds that first night after surgery.
    • The PT and OT and Case Worker and Hospitalist and anesthesiologist all of whom were loving and caring, making me feel as if I was their only concern.

Take control. Don’t act like a victim

Of course I had moments of feeling sorry for myself, but I’m so so very clear that they didn’t serve any positive purpose. I felt so much stronger and in-control once I accepted reality and planned accordingly.

  • Don’t go down the ‘Why Me‘ rabbit hole.
  • Take responsibility. Don’t blame mishaps along the way on the doctors, the nurses, the hospital, your caretaker, or your dog.

Prepare your body with fitness and nutrition

I had no disagreement with my surgeon’s opinion that I didn’t need to get stronger or loose weight in prep for my surgery. Physically.  But for my mental preparation, 3x weekly of each of strength, endurance, and mobility training during the 2 months leading up to my surgery was The Bomb! putting me in a super positive mind-space. 

  • Months before surgery – in fact, throughout your entire life – establish a routine of strength, balance, and endurance training. Progress isn’t miraculous – It comes from consistency. A strong upper body and core will help you navigate the bed when your legs are not as cooperative as they used to be.
  • Pick up a five (or 10 or 15) pound dumbbell and imagine not having to carry that around with you 24 hours a day when you’re in pain. If you need to lose a few lbs of body fat, then do it! You know who you are.
  • Eat for health rather than for comfort. Donuts and French Fries may satisfy your emotional needs, but they harm, rather than help, in your preparation and recovery.

Prepare your mind

The biggest difference between my 2017 and 2023 experience was letting go of any need to be the strongest and fastest recover-er. Getting into this Slow-and-Steady mindset was a gamechanger.

  • Be an active participant in the entire process. Learn everything you can about your medical condition, your anatomy, the physiology of healing, and the medications you get prescribed.
  • You are not Super(wo)man. If you think you are, you’ll be disappointed
    • There is no prize for the quickest return to cycling a century or running a marathon.
    • There is no prize for taking the least amount of pain meds.
    • There IS a prize for following the tried and true process recommended by your care team. That prize is an easier and perhaps faster recovery.

Prepare your spirit

Good vibes alone are NOT going to heal you. However, how do you know that a positive outlook isn’t going to support your healing??

  • Breathe. Meditate Be grateful. Be nice.
  • Pray to the Spirit that you believe in, who/what/where-ever that may be.

Prepare your community

Everyone’s needs in times of stress are different – so spend time listening to what will help you heal best. I know that I’m a ‘no-visitors’ kind of guy, and I had to learn to say that to both friends and family. It worked, and I had a nice and calm healing.

  • Anoint a caretaker. Having someone who will care for you during the first week is the biggest blessing ever. Treat them accordingly.
  • It’s ok to ask for help. Everyone has their turn as the patient. You’ll get your turn as the caregiver – that will be your payback time — remember then all the love you received as the patient
  • Be compassionate and loving towards your family or friends who are assisting you through the process. They too are going through an emotional journey, and it’s not the same as your journey. So check in with them.
  • Be clear with friends and family about how much support you want from them. If you prefer a quiet, no visitors environment as you recover, it’s ok to say so. It’s ok not to involve a large circle in your recovery process. Only you know how much input you want and need.

After surgery, take control of the healing

10 days post surgery – Graduation Day!

Again, slow-and-steady was my mantra this year. and starting from a place of good fitness really helped a lot! 

  • Help your entire mind, body, and spirit return to its good place.
  • Each day, a little more. All within the limits recommended by your care team.
  • Engage your quads when you walk, articulate your feet, lift your belly, feel length from the crown of your head…

Be compassionate with yourself

  • Those inevitable moments of freaking out are going to happen — When you lose faith. When the pain hits. When you are just too tired.
  • Remember that these are just moments. Breathe thru that and come back to center. Rely on the tools you’ve developed. The sun will come out again.

And finally,

  • Be flexible. Be adaptable. Everything changes minute by minute. You’ve got this.

If you have any insights or questions or just want to chat, please message me!

With Love,

Jeffrey.

Resources

  • Medisafe Pill Reminder app – This was a lifesaver, helping me remember when I needed to take prescriptions, when I took them last, when to Ice, when and how much I pooped and peed, even what my name was, when that last vestige of memory just wouldn’t kick in!
  • Mens Long Nightshirt. Why do you need all those contraptions to put on your underwear, when you can simply wear this nightshirt for your entire recuperation time.
  • The most beautiful pre-surgery and post-surgery prayers from Alden Solovy.
  • Mills peninsula orthopedic center.
  • Sure, the Hip Kit is useful, but the Leg Lifter is something you can’t live without!